Realization

Therapy never worked for me but this time I'm being honest. I am currently fighting an eating disorder. I've always wanted to write a book, I used to want to start with my drug addiction and thats what it would of been about because I was too ashamed of myself to go back further into myself untill a few days ago I realized it's okay when I opened up to a few others about my disease. So I started over. Starting with my abusive ex-boyfriend, then my eating disorder then came my drug addiction. Then today I told Casey something else I have always been ashamed of. I was tortured and bullied in high school to the point where I wasn't even learning anymore, I was avoiding everybody until I decided to not go anymore. All these things lead up to my drug addiction but the drugs weren't my problem. The problem is all the things I never dealt with because of the shame I feel. So thats where my story starts. Im sure I can go even further back and pick out more guilt and shame but I will get there. For now im realizing how much shame I hold and that it is okay. It really is okay. I just want to get better!