"Living skills were reducded to the animal level. Our spirit was broken. The capacity to feel human was lost. This sounds extreme, but many of us have been in this state of mind."
I was reading my NA book and today came across this paragraph. This was exactly what I was trying to explain to Katina, my sponsor, about how I didnt feel human anymore on the run, how the way I was surviving no human would willingly put themselves in my spot. I did what I had to do only to survive. I was treated like the animal I turned into. Low class, piece of ass to the rich, only to gain more money, power, and pleasure. To the other vultures I was a fox sneaking up behind them to steal their spot, their gain, their loved prized possesions. Stealing the man they used to manipulate and used my beautiful smile to make them fall in love so I can strip them poor untill they cant take it no more. But what happenes when that pretty smile is no more? Or when you take advantage of the good in an evil spirted man? Revenge. Then the people who are on my level, who have been here before, or who ride next to me, we see the pain in each others deep eyes, never trusting when we turn out backs, keep them for extra body heat when the nights get cold, you gain I gain cause we are selfish creatures of the street, we have a common bond, survival and getting high. Every morning crack of dawn we must jump to our feet and find a new spot to trespass, or fade away untill we all fall down or can one of us be found?
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