1 year relapse & recovery

Its the first time i've been back on here in a while. Strange I looked at the last post i posted and it was one year ago from today. I have to say i learned a lot in the past year from recovery to relapse. I got high and i went low.  I havent been able to put togther 30 days in months and a few days ago i picked up my 30 day keytag. Im getting my life togther  today and i dont plan on giving it up again. My old sponcer Katina, who has serached for me and fought for me and put me in treatment and let me live with her over the past year just messaged me.

"I love you so much and I am so scared of loosing you

I think about you everyday and hope you are doing this this time around for all the right reasons because I feel that if you go out one more time I will never get to see you again

You have so much good in you, there is a certain inocence that you have that most of us loose in our addiction. you have a beautiful heart, a kind spirit, and you are bright beyond imagination."

 

My counslers and therapist also got me me when they'd ask me how i felt for my brother if he had to come to my funeral. If our best days are togther that would be the worst day. I'd cry and try to dtay clean for him. Today i do it for myself and he has helped me more then anyone. Hes never given up and i trust him. I was very selfish in my addiction not realizing all the pain i caused my family.